Past Papers Reflection

I wrote my favorite papers of all time in my AP English class senior year of high school. I unfortunately no longer have access to these papers, but I remember receiving great praise from my professor, who was a former NYU professor (so I took her praise very seriously). My papers were on Jane Eyre and Beloved. My weakest papers are the ones I have written since starting college, I feel like my lowest efforts are rewarded or I am given a prompt that I cannot wrap my head around and too much freedom at the same time, which leaves me throwing together a haphazard paper that earns a B, and the whole time I’m not really sure it makes sense or is answering the prompt. When approaching analysis and writing, the papers I have felt most successful in are ones where I had weeks of preparation, either working with one or a couple texts towards a level of mastery. I also feel successful after working with many research texts and creating an annotated bibliography which helps me organize what each text is about and why it is important to my research. I feel like my analysis has improved since high school, but my writing has not. I have learned great writing skills in high school, and great research skills in college, but when it comes to writing in college, it is not at all what I was prepared for by AP classes, which had me convinced I would be hand writing essays in class in 45 minutes every other week, not typing by hand with weeks of time that I have to decide and time manage and get my work done on my own. I have produced some of my best writing under pressure/on the spot (with good knowledge/familiarity with my source material), and the only way I have been able to simulate that for college papers is waiting till the last minute, which is not something I want to do for a 15-20 page paper. I think research is difficult and time consuming, but it ensures a better end product, Nothing is really fun about writing/literary analysis to me except for getting it done, and I guess sometimes getting to share it or knowing you will share your ideas.